Thoughts on coffee. Yes, coffee.


There are a lot of important things to realize throughout a person’s lifetime. Realizations like you can’t always please everyone, or communication is important in any relationship, or the simple fact that you need water to survive. I recently realized a startling fact about my own life: I have never made a pot of coffee before. Ever.

I love coffee. My dad first introduced black coffee to me when I was in second grade, and although I didn’t become a regular coffee consumer then (probably for the best — who knows how much shorter I would be), I grew up with an immense appreciation for the taste of black coffee.

Life passed by, and I dabbled in coffee drinking. Some coffee here, some coffee there, some coffee while I sat in a chair. Some coffee in class, some coffee at work, some coffee so I wouldn’t go berserk. Eventually and inevitably, coffee and I became quite close. It’s not like I depend on coffee or even drink it excessively, but I certainly look forward to it in the morning.

My workplace provides free coffee from both a standard coffee maker and a Keurig machine (what a beautiful, beautiful thing). I tend to go for the Keurig, due to the before-stated fact and topic of this post that I have never brewed a pot of coffee. You can be guaranteed that I would not try this whole process out for the first time at my work — I can easily imagine the number of things that could, and most likely would, go wrong.

So, I don’t have to brew the coffee at work. But, what if — horror of horrors — the Keurig machine broke, or the company ran out of K-Cups, or (hyperbolic situation alert) a gun was held to my head, and the only way the gun-wielder would let me live was if I could successfully make a pot of coffee? **music from Psycho¬†shower scene plays** Would I be coffee-less? Would I die because of my inability to make a pot of coffee? Both are tragic thoughts.

I think I would be able to fake it ’til I make it. I’d like to think I’m a somewhat intelligent person, with enough common sense to be able to figure it out. But hey, with my life being threatened, I might not be able to. I mean, I’ve seen my parents, best friend, and Lorelai from Gilmore Girls make pots of coffee. But could I do it?

In case anybody else is in the same situation as I am (hopefully not the hyperbolic life-threatening situation), here’s a helpful YouTube video, posted by Levi Justin — what a life saver. The video is appropriately titled “How to make a pot of coffee.”

Good news: After watching this video, I realized I would have been able to make a pot of coffee. However, part of me feels like I am not officially an adult until I actually do it, so I should get on that. But this realization about my life makes me wonder: What else should I know?

Random side note: “Conglomerate” is an extremely fun word to say.